there's no use trying to find the work or a person to love if you don't like who you are

Start with the (Wo)Man In The Mirror

I’m all for people earning a living doing work they enjoy, but if you go to a job you love and come home and look in the mirror at a person you can’t stand, you aren’t doing anyone any favors. I’m also all for love, but you can only accept the amount of love you think you’re worth receiving.

You’ve seen people leave jobs they love and leave people they love because they weren’t happy or fulfilled. On the outside it looked like they had it all, what more could there possibly be?

I remember someone commenting on how or why anyone would ever break up with Halle Berry. They made mention of the fact that she was famous, rich, and beautiful (and therefore perfect to them). Whether you agree with that assessment of her or not, I know you understand that no amount of fame, fortune, love, or beauty can hold together or fix root issues.

The stuff you refuse to work on, works on you. The stuff you hide or never talk about, doesn’t go away. It pops up in your life in different areas until you give it the attention it demands. Be glad it does, be glad you get multiple chances to make things right and improve your life experience. Embrace whatever issues you’re having, know that you aren’t alone in having crap to work on, and find a friend, counselor, or parent to work through it with you.

When you start with a healthy foundation; when you like who you are, you can lead one (honest) life. The alternative is living two lives, that double life where you find your passion and/or love your partner but still have to deal with the internal pain you hide or suppress.

Start with the man or woman in the mirror. MJ had it right. Be self-first. Get to know and like yourself first, wade through the crap and start handling it head on, and everything else, from your work to your relationships will flourish.