If you could place every word you’ve spoken
and every action you’ve taken into one of two boxes,
fear or love, which box would have the most?
The professionals who study minds and human behavior say the emotional basis for all thoughts and actions are either fear or love. That’s it. They say those are the only two emotions, so underneath of everything you say or do is either the feeling of being afraid or the emotion of love.
Most of my words and actions would go into the box of love. Of those that would land in the box of fear, the majority of them are fear-based words and actions taken against myself. I have talked myself out of more things that anyone else ever has. I have stopped myself from trying things out of fear, I have used negative self-talk due to fear, and I have allowed fear to dictate where I won’t go or what I won’t do. I’ve allowed the voice of fear to drown out the one of love.
I’m great at encouraging others, I want people who are doing great work or striving to improve, or going after their dreams, to succeed. But when it comes to me, I’m often a bully to myself. (You know the deal with bullies right, they’re the people who are supposedly so annoyed by you and hate you so much that they can’t leave you alone, which doesn’t make sense. Really, they’re projecting their insecurities and fears on you; they fear you’ll succeed and they won’t.) As much as my rational mind knows I’m capable and wants to see me win, my emotions get the better of me and. These instances don’t happen often, but when they do, I get honest with myself and shift to loving thoughts and actions.
Today is election day in the Unites States. It’s been a rough presidential race to witness as members of both parties have done an excellent job of using fear-based, bombastic tactics. Imagine how much more pleasant and effective politics would be if the candidates were transparent, honest, and loving. Imagine leaders who genuinely cared, who made policies and campaigns based solely on wanting the best for people and not for the sake of notoriety, money, or position.
I don’t have a desire to reform the political system, but I’m all in when it comes to leading the movement of everyday people who want to tell their truth and share honestly. Fear and love both serve a purpose and are healthy emotions. But if your box of fear is overflowing, meaning the majority of the things you do and say are down out of fear, it’s time to do the work to figure out why.
Get honest with yourself about what you’re afraid of and work to switch to thoughts and actions based in love.