A while ago, over on our our old blog I asked the question,
[blockquote cite= type=”center”]“What does it mean to you to be vulnerable?“[/blockquote]
This response to that question summed up exactly what I feel most people think of vulnerability.
“I hate feeling vulnerable because it makes me feel weak. I feel like I am wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I feel like a lot of people don’t show that side of them in front of other people because that’s when people will take advantage of you. They will knock you down and make you feel even weaker. The only good thing for me that comes out of me being vulnerable is that I come back a even stronger person.”No one wants to be hurt, and no one wants to feel inferior, or less than. We are proud to say that we are strong so anything that might be seen as weak is what we avoid. We don’t tell people how we feel, what we’re going through, or what we’re thinking because we fear what they’ll think of us and we fear that they may use it against us.
By definition, to be vulnerable is to be weak. When a bricklayer builds a wall, they lay bricks in an offset pattern; the first row of bricks is laid off center of the next row so that the seam doesn’t run straight down the wall. This is so the wall has more structural integrity and so they can minimize the weak spots, so that the wall is not vulnerable or likely to easily fall.
[blockquote cite= type=”center”]VULNERABLE IS WEAK. BUT WEAK ISN’T BAD.[/blockquote]
When it comes to people, weak is good; when you are emotionally vulnerable, it’s when you’re weak, open, and when you accept help, you look for help, it’s when you’re open to feedback, it’s when you let your guard down enough to allow other people in. So while being vulnerable means allowing people in, allowing them to see the real and unguarded you, and that could lead to them using what you tell them against you or judging you for the feelings or thoughts you share, it is the only way to establish connections.
If you don’t want to go through your entire life faking, pretending to be happy, or wishing you had more relationships and more meaningful relationships, you must allow vulnerability to become the symbol of strength, and something that is good. Choose wisely who you decide to share your soul with, but do choose. Don’t allow your heart to be heard and yourself to be so guarded that you look back and realize all the connections, people, relationships you missed out of because you were afraid.
Be vulnerable, and when people come to you hurting, weak, and in need, be sensitive to that and treat them as you wish to be handled when the tables turn.